Not a whole lot is going on in these dog days of summer, so after some inspiration from the movie “Superbad,” which was HILARIOUS, I’m going to pass some judgment on random nouns of all sorts. We’ll save the good stuff for last and start off with the disses first. Here goes:
Tina Cervasio–she is so bad at her job, I don’t see how NESN can keep her on after this season.
Annoying/excessive coverage of Tim Donaghy, Michael Vick, Pacman Jones, and steroids–I’m over it, now give us some interesting rumors about trades and stuff, it’s ok if you make it up, that’s better than hearing about how Barry Bonds is the devil, because I DON’T CARE.
Rude people–yeah, you should just not be rude. When you get on the T, for instance, move in so that other people can also have their rightful 2.3 square feet of awkward space.
Garret Anderson–not only does his name lack another “t,” but he’s incredibly overrated and has been for years. A sub-.300 on base percentage isn’t so hot.
Vladimir Guerrero–he’s incredible. One of the most unique players in the history of the game. You’ll tell your grandkids about him.
Erik Bedard and Fausto Carmona: Not a whole lot of people talk about them but they might be two of the top 4 or 5 pitchers in the American League this year. Look ’em up.
Hanley Ramirez–He’s crazy good. It was worth giving him up for Josh Beckett and Mike Lowell, but the Marlins certainly got back a fair return.
The Ryan Braun/Prince Fielder combo: Both are 23, they fill the corners for years to come with economic contracts, and they MASH. Braun actually has a better OPS than A-Rod right now. Think about that, he’s a rookie.
Mo Vaughn–he’s been fixing up housing projects in New York City and giving poor people a home to feel proud of. Also, when he renovates his buildings he puts in hundreds of security cameras and this makes it harder to push drugs and gives little kids a better environment.
MLS/Beckham–The LA Galaxy/New York Red Bulls drew over 66,000 fans, and they saw a ridiculous game, with the Red Bulls winning 5-4. Although it’s not exactly the purest form of soccer, lots of scoring and entertainment is what Americans want from the game, so that’s cool, let’s hope it continues and more guys come over to help Beckham with marketing the game, and I have to eat my words about it not looking good for the foreseeable future.