A guide to living with a sports fan

Typical sports fan

This is meant mostly for girlfriend types, but non-sports fans can make use of it too if they’d like.

  1. Let him watch the game…I know you think there’s “always” a game, but that doesn’t diminish the fact that he wants to watch THAT game.
  2. Listen to him when he talks about sports, he knows you don’t really care, but if you show you’re willing to listen to his crap he’ll love you for it and listen to you about your job and your girlfriends and other things he doesn’t particularly want to hear about.
  3. NEVER walk in and stand in front of the TV.  Creep into the room and observe for a few seconds, and once you’ve taken in the game and understand the situation, take a seat and ask an intelligent question.  This will seriously make you the coolest girl any of the guys in the room has ever known.
  4. Remember this: 95% of the time, in baseball, basketball, and hockey still? (football and soccer are exceptions, so find out what your team does), the home team is wearing white (the pants at the very least in baseball).  There are occasions where teams wear alternate jerseys, but you can’t really be faulted for that, so please check that out before you ask where’s the game?  Also, memorize what your hometown venue looks like.
  5. Don’t make comments about how much guys get paid.  That’s just annoying, I’m aware that a basketball player probably doesn’t “deserve” more than $20 million a year, but I’m sorry, teachers are never going to be making more than professional athletes, so get over it.  We live in a market society, so that means that there is enough demand to pay outrageous salaries, which really means they aren’t outrageous at all, but what they should be.
  6. Take him to a game once a year, this should get you taken to whatever your favorite outing is at least once a year as well.  Reciprocity is dope.
  7. If you’re free and he’s somewhere that he doesn’t want to be while a game is on or you happen to hear some big trade, send him a text with the score or who went where and you will be getting a romantic dinner cooked for you sometime soon.
  8. Don’t jump on the bandwagon.  That’s the worst.  Pink Sox hats, saying the Yankees suck, all that jazz, it’s a wack over-simplification of things.  It’s like saying the Trojans sucked, go Spartans.  There’s a lot more to the story than that.  Take your time to get to know the history before you claim allegiance based on a relationship that isn’t marriage, and even then, proceed slowly.
  9. NEVER say anything when his team loses, EVER.  Just give him time, no conversation is needed unless he starts it, and even then you really ought to just listen.  It will save a lot of stupid fights that need not occur.
  10. Use his obsession with something you find potentially pointless to your advantage.  Do something productive and fun for you while he wastes his time; get him to understand that if he doesn’t do some damn cleaning then he’s not going to get to watch the game in peace; be so damn cool that he just loves you even more and wants to make you the happiest woman he can.

One Response to A guide to living with a sports fan

  1. eho says:

    #6’ll probably only happen if the guy does something nice first, unless she’s a pleaser/pushover.

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